COURTESY FOR THE CLERGY?
Dear reader, I'd like your help on this one.
Last week Father Augustine and I attended a wake for a 39-year-old man. Predictably, a long line stretched for almost a city block waiting to get into the funeral parlor. The two of us in our Roman collars got on the end of the line. Twice as the line moved slowly along the sidewalk we were approached by different employees of the funeral home: “Fathers, why don’t you just walk up to the front of the line. You don’t need to stand here.” Both times Fr. Augustine and I gave an immediate and firm “No, thank you. We’re fine here.”
FLASHBACK
Then as I stood on the sidewalk I had a flashback. It was 1954. Our family of six had duly bough
t our tickets for the Christmas show at Radio City Music Hall in New York, and had walked to the end of the line that stretched around the corner and well down the block. We had with us my aunt, Sister Paul Marie, O.S.B., in her full Benedictine habit. We had barely gotten on line when an usher came up to us and informed us that nuns did not stand on line, but were given the courtesy of immediate entry. So sister and the six of us followed the usher in a parade past all the people who’d been waiting in the cold for an hour, and waltzed right through the front door. I remember being extremely conscious of people standing on that long line watching us as we walked past and probably making all sorts of uncharitable judgments about us.
So now, some 56 years later, I had been invited to skip to the front of the long line. The second time we were asked, a woman in her thirties who was standing in front of us on line turned and said, “Really, you should go. We won’t mind.” I thought that was very kind and thoughtful of her, and then I began wondering about the variety of reactions it would have provoked.
Since it was a very Catholic crowd, many of the people would probably have been okay with their priests getting a little sign of respect, especially considering what the newspapers have been doing to the Catholic clergy for the past few years. On the other hand, I could imagine that some people who needed to get home to put the kids to bed might have thought that letting the priests jump ahead on the line was both unfair and old-fashioned.
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
Then as I stood on the sidewalk I had a flashback. It was 1954. Our family of six had duly bough
t our tickets for the Christmas show at Radio City Music Hall in New York, and had walked to the end of the line that stretched around the corner and well down the block. We had with us my aunt, Sister Paul Marie, O.S.B., in her full Benedictine habit. We had barely gotten on line when an usher came up to us and informed us that nuns did not stand on line, but were given the courtesy of immediate entry. So sister and the six of us followed the usher in a parade past all the people who’d been waiting in the cold for an hour, and waltzed right through the front door. I remember being extremely conscious of people standing on that long line watching us as we walked past and probably making all sorts of uncharitable judgments about us.So now, some 56 years later, I had been invited to skip to the front of the long line. The second time we were asked, a woman in her thirties who was standing in front of us on line turned and said, “Really, you should go. We won’t mind.” I thought that was very kind and thoughtful of her, and then I began wondering about the variety of reactions it would have provoked.
Since it was a very Catholic crowd, many of the people would probably have been okay with their priests getting a little sign of respect, especially considering what the newspapers have been doing to the Catholic clergy for the past few years. On the other hand, I could imagine that some people who needed to get home to put the kids to bed might have thought that letting the priests jump ahead on the line was both unfair and old-fashioned.WHAT DO YOU THINK?
So, the two of us stood on line with everyone else for 45 minutes and waited our turn. As we left the funeral home afterward, I felt good about our decision. I think it was the right one.
I wonder what the readers if this blog think about that whole situation?
I’d love to hear your comments, even your advice. I want to know what I should do the next time someone says, “Father, you don’t have to stand on line; just come with me.”
I wonder what the readers if this blog think about that whole situation?
I’d love to hear your comments, even your advice. I want to know what I should do the next time someone says, “Father, you don’t have to stand on line; just come with me.”
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If you stay in line and wait your turn you may experience some folks or a situation that you otherwise would have missed. Who knows, this random encounter could be food for your next homily or blog.
ReplyDeleteI agree with the comment above. You did the right thing especially since you showed grace and appreciation to the person who offered.
ReplyDeleteI feel that clergy are entitled to special courtesies. It is just a matter of respect for the job that you do serving the people. I also think that most people would agree with me. Others would see the clergy moving ahead in line assuming you were needed for counsel or prayers. I always try to extend small courtesies when appropriate--giving up my seat on the metro for an ederly person, holding the door someone. It is your call, but go ahead and accept the special treatment. The priests I know give so much time to others, it is nice that they are given a little special treatment in return.
ReplyDeleteYes, I agree that you should take the cut in line. Priests serve God and the Community, so it's appropriate that the Community give back.
ReplyDeleteWaiting your turn line, from most of what was said, is a place of good witness to the patience and tenderness of Christ for priest and laity alike. What did Christ want you to see/learn by waiting your turn in line to pray for the dead and to be with the people?
ReplyDeleteThis seems to be a more complex issue than I realized when I originally wrote the post. It even provoked a lively interchange with a couple of my brother monks the other day. I'd love to hear some more opinions from readers.
ReplyDeleteThis was an interesting question to view from different perspectives. Absolutely, religious should be accorded the respect of having usual protocols waived that the rest of us are bound to follow. However, in the context of a funeral--it is all about respect for the deceased--it seemed proper to send the message of humility by not going to the head of the line. On the other hand, accepting the offer to be escorted to the front, would not have sent out a "wrong" message; it would have been perfectly acceptable. But, I thought about the proverbial question, "What would Jesus do?" I think there would be no doubt in anyone's mind, that Jesus would have declined such special treatment.
ReplyDeleteI have only just found this Blog. What an interesting question.
ReplyDeleteI do not think I could have stood in line (or in a queue - as we say here in England), in front of a Priest or Nun and not offered them to "please, go before me". If I received a quick blessing for this, it would make my day.