TRUST FALL

In the past week or so I’ve been practicing letting go of any worries and

preoccupations and placing them in the Lord's hands. A couple of days ago I came across a second helpful image: a sheep lying down confidently in a green pasture under the shepherd’s watchful eye. It’s from Psalm 23, the “Good Shepherd” psalm. I’m lying down in it and trusting in the shepherd to keep me safe. 

The picture had come to me early one morning years ago as I was reflecting on Matthew’s account of the miracle of the loaves and fishes (Mt 15:32-38). I was struck by verse 35: “Then ordering the crowd to sit down on the ground…” 

I knew that “sit down” was a translation of one of my favorite Greek words, anapiptō. What had first interested me about the word was that it means literally “to fall backwards, to lean back.” For instance, when Jesus reveals at the last supper that someone is about to betray him, “the disciple whom Jesus loved” leaned back [anapiptō] against his chest and asked him, “Master, who is it” (Jn 13:25)?

Usually, however, the verb is not used in this literal way but in the sense of “to lean back to dine.” For solemn meals, Jews in New Testament times followed the Roman custom of lying on mats or low couches around the outside edge of a low U-shaped table. The diners would lean on their left elbow and use their right hand for eating. This was the scene, for instance, when Our Lord accepted a Pharisee’s invitation to dinner: “Jesus entered and reclined at table [anapiptō] to eat” (Lk 11:37). Since this was a banquet, Jesus and the others would literally have “reclined” as they ate. Early on, however, the word expanded from its narrow meaning of “to recline at a banquet” to become the general word for “to sit down to eat.”

This is the word I had come upon at the beginning of the story of the loaves and fishes early one morning: “He ordered the crowds to sit down on the grass.” Ever since discovering the background of this word I’ve loved the image of thousands of hungry people in that deserted spot not simply sitting down to eat, but obediently “leaning over backwards” in trust at Jesus’ invitation.

I used to wonder what I would have done if I’d been in that crowd when Jesus invited

them to sit down to eat. Being a doer by nature, and someone who wants to solve his own problems, I had trouble imagining myself leaning back passively and letting him supply me with food. I would have preferred instead to find some way of getting it for myself. 

But I think that over the years I’ve found it easier to picture myself “reclining” on the grass. And, remembering the literal meaning of the word, I can close my eyes and let myself “fall backwards,” knowing that He will catch me, and that He will give me whatever strength I might need to get through whatever problems or worries I may be facing.

The Lord is my shepherd,

and nothing shall I lack.

He makes me lie down

in green pastures...