BEHIND CLOSED DOORS

 

This Sunday's Gospel begins by telling us that on that first Easter day the Apostles were gathered "behind locked doors." The following reflection is taken from my book "Faces of Easter." I hope it will speak to you during this holy season.

Houses on James Street

Walking down James Street, not far from the monastery, past the restored brick rowhouses, I get this closed-in feeling. There’s wrought iron grillwork protecting the windows, and most of the front doors are blank and uninviting, and fitted with tiny peepholes so that the occupants can see who is ringing their bell. 

The iron-grilled windows and the sealed-up doors remind me of the gospel passage we heard on Easter -- the story of the twelve apostles on the first Easter Sunday evening.

They were hiding behind a locked door like one of these, afraid that the authorities were about to come and arrest them. I can imagine them staring anxiously at the door, sneaking glances at one another, expecting at any moment to hear the fateful knock that would signal arrest, torture and death. Then, just as the suspense becomes unbearable, they see the risen Jesus standing in their midst greeting them: “Peace be with you.”

Further along James Street, the wrought iron bars on a window catch my eye. When I slow my pace to study them closely, I suddenly feel uneasy for some reason that I can’t put my finger on. Then, as I keep staring, I realize that sometimes my own heart and soul must look like that. When I’m in a situation where I’m not in control, or where I’m not sure what is going to happen next, or I feel threatened, then up go my defenses -- locked doors, closed shutters, iron bars, the works.  

Too often I even put up defenses against God, afraid that he’ll ask too much of me -- that is, he may challenge me to shift the center of my life from myself to him. So, when the Lord wants to come and meet me or teach me some difficult lesson, he has to contend with my home security system, especially my protective bars.

Luckily for me, however, Jesus doesn’t seem to be put off by the barred windows and locked doors of my heart, any more than he was by that door the disciples had locked on that first Easter evening. He has lots of ways to get past my defenses. For example, I’ll suddenly realize that some person has found their way into my heart despite my carefully guarded doors, I hear Jesus’ loving greeting as he stands beside that person inside my defenses: “Peace be with you!”

I continue down the sidewalk past more sealed-up houses. A

young woman is striding toward me pushing a stroller. When I glance down at the baby’s serene and radiant face, I feel a tug at my heart; my breath catches as I glimpse God’s glory for a moment. As mother and child continue past me, I’m about to thank the Jesus for that surprise splinter of the divine presence, when I hear his voice -- he’s already inside my heart: “Peace be with you!” He’s done it again.

Reflection 

Do you ever find yourself putting up defenses against God? When are the times that this is most likely to happen? What are God’s favorite ways of speaking to you, of getting past your defenses? Think of a time when the Lord helped you to overcome your fear, and give you the gift of peace.

A BLESSED EASTER SEASON!