ON DENYING MYSELF

Jesus said to his disciples,

“Whoever wishes to come after me

must deny himself,

take up his cross, and follow me¨ (Matt 16:24).

At the risk of looking too picky or grumpy, I am sharing on this post a word search that began with yesterday´s gospel passage (above) and turned out to be quite fruitful for me. 

The verse above tells you that if you want to follow Christ, you have to “deny your self.” Frankly, I don’t find the common translation “deny” to be very helpful, at least to me. So yesterday I took a close look at the Greek word that Matthew uses, aparneomai. It has a few different senses:

1. To deny: to say that one does not know about, or is in any way related to a person or event. Now, just how am I supposed to say that I am in no way related to myself, I do not know about myself? OK. Then let’s move on to meaning number two.

2. “To reject,” as in the passage ¨I tell you, everyone who acknowledges me before others the Son of Man will acknowledge before the angels of God. But whoever denies me before others will be denied before the angels of God.¨(Lk 12:8-9) Well, that doesn’t sound like a good mental hygiene: to reject or turn my back on myself.

But don’t lose hope, because there is yet a third meaning.

3. “To refuse to give thought to, or expressed concern for; to disregard, to pay no attention to, to say ‘No´ to.¨ At last! This final phrase offers me a practical guideline for following Christ: To say no to my spoiled inner child. 

When I first saw this translation, it pointed an accusing finger right at my heart. I have countless opportunities every day to say “No.”

Especially to the spoiled brat who lives inside me. Even something as simple as refusing a second dessert, or biting my tongue when I want to yell at a misbehaving student, or picking up my laptop instead of doing, lectio divina.

One very practical advantage of this translation is that it allows me to practice on little things at first, so I can stay in practice for those times when serious temptations come along and, to be a follower of Christ, I have to say “No!” to them.

So when I hear Jesus tell his disciples that they have to “deny themselves,” I have a pretty good idea of what he must be asking of me.