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Three Tries But No Answer 

I ended last week's post about prayer with the thought that I might look at the problem of "unanswered prayer" this week. And now, conveniently enough, we find the following passage assigned as part of the Second Reading at mass for Sunday, July 4:

Brothers and sisters:That I, Paul, might not become too elated,

because of the abundance of the revelations,

a thorn in the flesh was given to me, an angel of Satan,

to beat me, to keep me from being too elated. 

Three times I begged the Lord about this, that it might leave me,

but he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you,

for power is made perfect in weakness.” (2 Cor. 4:7f)

Paul has just finished describing a mystical vision which had lifted him to the heights of heaven and let him see secrets that he can't even put into words. Then comes the above passage in which he explains that God wanted to prevent him from getting too puffed up over that experience. We don't know exactly what he's referring to by his "thorn in the flesh;" but it's some sort of suffering, whether physical, spiritual, or psychological. One scholar suggests that it may have been a particular person who opposed Paul at every turn and made his preaching ministry very difficult. 

In any case, Paul grows weary of being "beaten up" by this affliction, and prays intensely on three occasions to be delivered from it. But in vain. Some might say that God doesn't answer his prayer, but this isn't the way Paul himself sees it. God does answer his prayer, telling him: “My grace is sufficient for you." Paul's own preferred plan is that he be freed from this affliction, but God offers a different plan in which Paul will be strengthened by his suffering, "for power is made perfect in weakness.” God doesn't just tell him "Find a way to deal with it!" but assures him that God's loving presence will be with him through every trial, and will be enough to get him through. 

Stretching Exercises

St. Augustine suggests that when God doesn't answer our prayer immediately it's because the waiting in faith increases our desire and "expands" our hearts. I remember reading this in his "Letter to Proba" and having to look up his Latin word capacius. It turns out to be the comparative form of the adjective capax, which means something like "of sufficient size, roomy." Ever since then, when I'm in the midst of some bout of unanswered prayer I picture my heart being stretched, made capacius, by my constant earnest asking. Why does God need my heart to be made "roomier?" There's the mystery: I've no idea. But I do know this much: that the Lord's grace is sufficient to get me through the situation, and that whatever the mysterious plan is, it has to do with Love, with making me less selfish and more able to welcome others into my now roomier heart.

The Vending Machine Problem

One key to dealing satisfactorily with the question of unanswered prayer is the notion that we are created for a relationship of personal intimacy with God. God wants to have a relationship of love with each of us, but such a relationship involves risk-taking: leaving myself vulnerable, letting the other know all about me, leaving the other person free to respond in love in whatever way they wish, being open to surprises and to disappointments. That's what "intimacy" involves.

A telling contrast is the example of a vending machine. I insert my dollar bill with complete confidence that the machine is going to deliver exactly what I asked for, right away. This is a mechanical operation performed by a machine. There's no question of conscious response to a request -- the machine is engineered to "react" to specific commands. So of course I get outraged if the machine gobbles up my dollar but then just sits there mutely without reacting. I fume: "Where's my bag of chips!"

So, now. think about your relationship with God. Do you ever think of God as a vending machine that is supposed to react the way you want because you've inserted some required amount of prayers or masses or good deeds? Or is your God a Person who is free to respond to you in the most loving possible way, even if that way is beyond your ability to understand?

Disappointed 
Customer

When the vending machine doesn't deliver, people get upset and may even start rocking the machine or kicking it. When their Vending-Machine-God doesn't deliver, people get upset and feel betrayed, even crushed by their disappoint- ment. God didn't deliver.

The Mystery Remains 

Because God did not create us as automatons but as free persons designed for intimacy with our loving Creator, unanswered prayer will always be a possibility, a mystery we have to live with. 

But at least now it sounds like a plan. Or should I say a Plan?