I spent the past four days at the abbey's property in the wooded mountains of Sussex County on a retreat preparing novice Br Robert for his profession of simple vows on Oct. 17, 2020. I gave him a few conferences based on chapters from Flowers in the Desert by Demetrius Dumm, O.S.B. The following post is based on material from that book, but I haven't used quotation marks. So, consider the whole thing a citation from Fr. Demetrius -- except for the errors, of course. (Please excuse the masculine pronoun for God from the Old Testament.)
The weather for the retreat days was perfect: Bright sunshine, a light breeze, mild October temperatures. One of the more memorable experiences was a drive we took through the nearby valleys, marveling at the wide vistas and the subtle fall colors decorating the mountainsides. I kept thanking God for the beauty all around us. This was God showing himself in a way that's comprehensible to us: The God of beauty, goodness and order in the world. How easy it was to sense God's presence in Walpack Valley!
But during the silent times or while praying Vespers in the little chapel the Lord challenged me to go beyond the simple children's paradise of the visible and very understandable world of the autumn beauty of Sussex County. I found myself praying for a couple of friends who are very sick with serious illnesses. These are such good people, the question naturally arises: Why does God stand by while these loved ones suffer? The God of the autumn sunshine suddenly disappears and is no longer present in ways that I can understand and appreciate. Actually, he seems to be absent. The bible is full of experiences of the apparent absence of God. For example, the fall of Jerusalem when the Babylonians took so many Jews into captivity. Jesus, hanging in agony on the cross, borrows David's words from Psalm 22: "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?"
At these times in our lives, God no longer conforms to my human understanding of what divine 
goodness should mean. He asserts his freedom and uniqueness and sovereignty; he becomes mysterious, apparently absent. These are the prophetic moments when the prophets would appear and assure us that, in spite of contrary appearances, God still loves us. God, they say, is now asking us to live in trust, to believe that faithfulness and perseverance will lead to a much better presence. There is a gift in the mystery, hidden in the incomprehensible experiences of illness, pandemic and so on..
God's true and most gracious presence will be on his terms. The Lord has not left us, but has changed the manner of his presence. He is actually more present and more loving now than ever because he is now present as he always intended to be, in his own preferred way. It is we who must change,be converted, be opened up to receive and entertain the new, better presence of the Lord.
This turns out to be a more beautiful and powerful experience than even the view in Walpack Valley.
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