GOD AND NOISE

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Ever been at a wedding reception, seated next to a relative you haven't seen in 25 years, but the DJ's music is blasting so loud that the two of you can't hear one another speak? This describes many of the receptions I've attended recently. I'm not going to complain about it in this post, but would like to use the experience as a background to make more vivid these few lines about ourselves and God, translated from the German poet Rilke:

We would like to hear his words,
but we only half hear them.
The big drama between us
makes too much noise
for us to understand each other.

I see myself reflected in these lines. "The big drama between us" describes pretty well my relationship with the Lord, much of the time at least. God must wonder, "Why does Albert make everything so difficult between us? Why does he have to turn everything into a drama, a contest of wills?"

I can Imagine Jesus shaking his head in exasperation at my foot dragging, my cowardice, my hard-heartedness and whatever else makes it so hard for him to draw closer to me. I picture him shouting in my ear, trying to overcome the constant roar of DJ music that I play in my head -- a rabble riot of random thoughts, worries, plans and memories. Meanwhile Jesus is sitting right beside me. We look at eachother and shrug. No use trying to communicate in the midst of all this noise. He seems more disappointed than I over the fiasco.

Tomorrow I take off for three weeks in Europe. I hope that being surrounded by the natural beauty of southern Ireland and the hills of Hungary will allow Jesus and me to get into some good conversations. I really do hope so./

Please pray for my safe journey, and for my conversation with Jesus.