THE GIFT OF BEING SICK

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I spent much of last week suffering with the effects of a stubborn intestinal bug. The experience, which

went on for days, left me exhausted. At last, as I started feeling better, I got back into my routine of going down to the church at 5:00 a.m. to pray in front of the Blessed Sacrament.

There I sat, still exhausted, unable to follow my usual prayer routine. The best I could do was flop in my chair, too tired to take charge of the 45 minutes. It began to dawn on me that this was definitely a form of "stretching" in prayer: Wordless reaching out to the Lord from a position of helplessness.

The irony of the situation wasn't lost on me: Usually I'm the one calling the shots during my morning meditation - I decide if I'm going to start by reading the day's Gospel, or maybe begin instead with some centering prayer or some other alternative. But there i was saying, "Okay Lord, why don't you take charge this morning." As the minutes glided slowly past, all I could manage was a tired mumble "It's all yours, Lord, whatever you want to do is okay with me!"

Suddenly I saw the gift in the situation, namely, I was getting a look at my situation before God as it truly is. I was able to see clearly what the Lord has always been asking of me -- to let him be in charge.

"Let it be done unto me..."

"Let it be done to me according to your word." "Not my will but yours be done." These echoes from the gospel assured me that I was indeed experiencing a special prayer time that morning. I wasn't in charge -- which was just what the Lord has been trying to teach me for decades!